A LETTER TO BAE TO BE

Bottomline:Imagine with all the looks you possess you still have smelly toes, please to be girlfriend there are things I just can’t withstand.

By Oluoch Bendafton

To be girlfriend, I know you are doing good and that’s why I eye you, I also know that a good number of boys are on your heels crying to be given a chance and most importantly I know that you don’t have a man or maybe you willing to stomach me too because from our candid conversations you don’t want me out of your life.

I also want you in my life, but you are either playing hard to get or proving hard to get. From our talks you know that the only time I worked so hard for anything was way back during mealtime back in high school and I swore never to work hard.

You putting me through a challenge that I know I will overcome; the test of time. It doesn’t matter when all that matters is how long but when all this is done, they said hard work pays. I hope you know how to cook and you are not the type of girl who adds water on kales in the name of kale stew, because if it is that then tell me why am I wasting my time.

I know you are a clean girl but what I am not sure is if the odor from your armpit smells garlic. If this is so tell me now so that I can start helping as early as possible, I just don’t want my boys talk behind my back. Imagine with all the looks you possess you still have smelly toes, please to be girlfriend there are things I just can’t withstand.

I won’t lie that my love for you has no limits, but trust me when I say I will always be by your side to correct you, love you and pamper you when I want something from you. I don’t want to promise you things that even my own mother never showed me. I will give you the love a mother shows to her only son; at least I have been there.

You know I knew my boys before you so you don’t expect me to give you more attention than them. You don’t expect me to cut my links with them for you. Sports’ betting was sweet heart before you and thanks to it I get airtime to call you. 

It will not be that bumpy trust me, I like going out on weekends to listen to some good music and have splendid time so I may think of tagging  you along if only you promise not to cause a scene when another woman tries to dance with me in the event of you having two left feet.

I am also a good cook, so any time you don’t have the psyche to get dirty in the kitchen, trust me when I say I have you on that one because it is no doubt that I love my intestinal worms and I will do anything just to see them contented .

 I am a man of surprises but I like them when they are positive so don’t come to my house without notice unless you want to be the watch lady .on your birthday I will surprise you that I promise so don’t keep on reminding me anytime we start conversing.

Sorry I forgot to tell you, I will give you all the attention I can afford to pay but only when I am not playing FIFA. I will keep a copy so when we start dating I will remind you.

Yours truly,
 The writer is a public relations student

Oluoch7@yahoo.com

Oluoch bendaftone on twitter

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