Well, it’s been a sweet, smooth ride and now it’s starting to get bumpy, stormy, rainy and even crazy. She complains you don’t give her enough love, money and time and you feel its time you step on the breaks and through her through the windscreen of your once sweet “relationship”. Thank god you are reading this article and if you follow the steps correctly she will be begging you to leave her or even change her number.

Stage 1, take her out somewhere special for valentine. From the usual dates in Eldi town, take her to chela in stage or uzito in mabs. Avoid ordering something that stresses the bill to above 40bob. Order something like chafua or ugali and goat soup. With most chiqs suffering from lifestyle sophistication dependence syndrome (L.S.D.P.), such actions will send a repulse from their rational brain (cerebral cortex) which will fax a message to the lifestyle cells(pesalioglobin) located in the lower parts of the brain which will relate you to a worthless scumbag. To make this step effective, order for her and let it be the same meal. By the end of this stage your love score will have dropped to33%.

Step 2, be obsessive and act like a love smitten girl Text her after every 10-15 minutes and maintain the texts to be as unromantic as possible. This will involve asking where she is, what she’s doing, who she’s with and what she will be doing after her current engagement. Taking her phone and going through all her calls and text and making unnecessary complaints about her texting her cousin and other male friends may really work for you and will spark the lowering of the love score. Get angry and unrealistic saying that she doesn’t care about your feelings and has been ignoring you for quite a while. At this stage you can also be inattentive to what she says and always cut her short and introduce another stream of conversation.

Step 3, unpin the grenade your love score by this stage will have dropped to 5% and she will have looking for ways she can rocket launch you from her life. All that you can do in this stage is pretend like you’re sorry and pretend you care about her. She will take the “care” as an opportunity to revenge and dump you or even flirt with other guys on your face. Little does she know that she has pulled the catapult in the opposite direction and she’s the one to be hit; and she will be the one indirectly dumped.

This is the most peaceful way to end the game instead of leaving behind endless deposits of broken hearts; all in the name of peace guys.

By: JUDAH BEN HUR a communication & journalism student Moi University


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