Hello, it is the dawning of a new era breaking of a glorious day; something rings in my mind. Do men or guys really understand women? And if they do so, how? It dawned on me after I had caused a tearful and painful moment to my sister which had dominated hot arguments. The bone marrow of the matter was that I insulted and cautioned her about her wreck less drunkard boyfriend. Hey!! I had opened a Pandora box. She defended her situation intensively until I ran short of words to disapprove her. She dismissed my claims and told me…… to mind my own business. Oh I was wrong. I never listened to her; rather I had drowned my own conclusions towards her affair. I had actually missed a point.
Listen to me guys. When a lady talks, she is usually not seeking advice, solutions or answers. She is simply expressing her feelings. When this does not occur, it short circuits the process and she feels alienated from her friends, relatives or lover. In the book, Half a Day, the story Breaking Loose by Moyez Vassangi depicts that men like showing their ego in conversations. The major characters in the story –Professor Akoto an African and Yasmin an Asian lady engage in hot arguments. Akoto in all means tries to disapprove Yasmin’s impressions about Western culture. He can’t really understand Yasmin’s attitude and feelings just because he is learned. It has dawned on me that a lady tries to explore her feelings, perception and reasoning to be understood and for empathy. In that regard, she talks in search for intimacy and deep concern, to gain empathy and understanding, as she would with her women friends.
Did you know? A man can make a real impact on a lady by simply listening to her, without offering advice. She speaks about her problems to feel better. She speaks about the present problems that may never happen and unsolvable problems. It helps to relieve her stress. However, in putting her thoughts and feelings into words allow a lady’s intuition to kick in. No woman would like to be undermined in her circles; every woman wants to be egocentric on her own way. Never try to embarrass a lady before other ladies or guys. This will trigger her feelings thinking that you tried undermine her. In most cases ladies are not trying to win the argument.
They only want to feel that you hear and care about them. Actually a lady wants to have a relationship sufficiently free so that she can talk with you about trivia of life that hurts or displeases her, the everyday happenings, what she did and said her successes and failures, worries over her health. When a woman feels she has been listened to, she feels validated and accepted.
Try these guys.